Anxiety, ARGHHH! Such an overused word! Is anxiety even a thing? Or did people just made this whole thing up? What. even. is. anxiety? I will try and answer all of these questions based on my own personal experiences.
Starting off with- ‘what is anxiety’? To give you the textbook definition, Anxiety is a mental disorder characterized by feelings of worry, strong enough to interfere with one’s daily activities. But wait! Umm, What anxiety really is? Well, I think that the actual meaning of anxiety differs from person to person. It can be about having butterflies in your stomach before an event to being nervous about something to having the fear of talking and opening up to anyone to so many things! Anxiety is not just about feeling worried, it is a mixture of so many feeling- Fear, Nervousness etc etc. It is a part our daily lives and little dash of anxiety is completely normal. The problem arises when this so called anxiety starts to overpower the idea of becoming the best version of ourselves. When it starts to interrupt us in doing something we always wanted to or when it doesn’t let us maximize our potential of doing something!
Talking about my own experience with it. Well, it was not something that just came in my life suddenly but it was something that developed over a period of time. It was not just one thing but many different things/situations that led to the strengthening of it. Things/situations like- having multiple bad days, regularly getting mocked, that one mistake on stage, fights, feeling of being not good enough and so on. For me, it became sooooo overpowering to the point that I isolated myself from everyone and basically hoped for nothing. It was so bad that before even starting anything, I would question myself over and over again asking myself if I ever will be able to do it and ultimately didn’t end up starting(YUP!). I developed a really bad habit of overthinking too excessively. I stopped doing everything that I loved. I tried to talk to people about it but I was told that sometimes the right thing to do is shove your feelings under the blanket and go to sleep and by ‘sometimes’ they meant all the time. For years, I did what I was told. But now, I understand how wrong it was. It is not at all healthy to suppress your feelings, not just anxiety, any kind of feeling.
The funniest thing is when I tell people that I have anxiety, I get bombarded with this plethora of questions and comments like ‘WHAAAAA? You have anxiety? Doesn’t look like it. ‘ ‘Its all in your head!’ ‘Get over it’ ‘Agh!, there are bigger problems to worry about’ ‘Oh, it happens to everyone.’ ‘Drama Queen much?’ ‘Maybe you are just lazy’ . Well, If u have ever gotten any of the above questions/comments, then
I don’t want this post to be super long, so, all in all, I am so happy that I have finally started to get out of this lil bubble of mine. To be honest, it is not at all easy but also! it doesn’t have to be extremely difficult. If you can relate to 1%(or even less) to what I wrote, never think that your feelings are any less valuable than others! You are an awesome human and you have the potential to be much better! Trust me when I say that I know it is way easier said than done but don’t let anything get in your way. And if you want to share your story/experience, never hesitate to email me. You can contact me through the contact page. 🙂
PS: I wrote this blog in collaboration with knightofsteel.com. A blog on mental health and depression in particular . He has an awesome blog! Please do check it out.